On Changing

As i was sitting in my room tonight i started thinking about all of the junk that has accumulated in it over the years.
I currently live my life without much interaction with my room; I come home, sleep, do homework, and that's about it.
But i have various trinkets that at one time were interesting or "cool", books galore which are mostly unread, and mounds of dust.
None of this gets any attention on a day to day basis.
My eyes fell on my Somersworth High School Class of 2006 yearbook.
Freshman year.
As I flipped though i realized that i barely knew anyone in it.
Now, this makes perfect sense because i only spent one year there and wasn't social at all. But it troubled me in a more-than-on-the-surface sort of way.
Here were all these people that I never had a chance to have an impact on. Here were all these people who i never got to get to know, be friends with, or be part of.
And then there were the people i actually recognized.
Kids i had classes with, other freshmen.
The most obvious thing is how much everyone looks like children.
You look at pictures on facebook of people you haven't seen in 3 years, and they look completely different. Towards the end of the pictures was my photo.
I laughed and cried.
I had no idea that they were taking school pictures on the day they did.
As such i wore an ugly black polo. and my hair looks rather awkward.
And i look so young.
I dug up my freshman id card so i could have a juxtaposition for you:



There is a marked difference.

Then my thoughts turned to all the people on facebook with "somersworth highschool" as their network.
I guess you could say that there's some "buyers remorse" from me not staying at somersworth. There are kids that i can barely remember the names of who i wish i could have gotten to know. It's like this intense feeling of failure.
Sure, i might have a better chance of getting into college now.
But what about the people?

Approaching the far edge of highschool has me thinking about how much i've changed in the past 3.5 years. And it has me thinking about how much everyone else has changed as well.
A lot of the time, we change with our surroundings.
Easy example: You notice when one of your friends gets a haircut.
You don't notice when, every day, their hair gets micrometers longer, because you get used to the hair growing out. Your perception of their hair changes ever so slowly with the passing of time.

So i can say that i've 'grown up' with my friends at berwick; i've known them for the past 3 years, most of them much longer, and i've grown with them. We've impacted each other, shaped each other's personalities and thoughts, what we think is funny. We've created inside jokes, not payed attention in any math class of any sort, and still manage to survive.
This is a good feeling.

However, much worse feeling is how much i've missed all those people i've had just glancing friendships with.
This question keeps me up at night, seriously: What about the people who I could have been friends with?
I have forever missed the chance to be a part of their time growing up.
I can't start inside jokes with them, can't not learn precalc with them, and i will never see almost all of them ever again.

It's just another thought in the infinitely useful mantra: "Life is complicated. Living is simple."