On Childness

I live on a dirt road.
As someone from Somersworth once said, "It's depressing".
It isn't really depressing, but when it rained, and i got off the bus and had to walk 700 feet to get home, it was rather dreary. (Mind the Gap.)
Anyway, since i've lived here since i was 3, i've grown up with potholes in my daily life.
Probably the most annoying thing about living on a dirt road is when you come home from long road trips, and you have to pee really really bad, its like, "yay, i can pee... oh crap, we have to go over the road first."
Then for 45 seconds you get this horrendous jarring sensation that comes with driving over potholes.
Then you can finally go pee.
It's more strenuous than it sounds, trust me.

There's something else about potholes in a dirt road, though.
When it rains, you get these great mud puddles.
Their not really mud puddles, per se, but they're puddles filled with muddy water.
As a kid, i can remember wanting to go outside when it rained an jump around in those mud puddles.
My mom would generally say "no."

[flash forward]

Sometimes, at the end of the day, when i curl up in my bed to go to sleep, i feel like a little kid who just spent the day playing in mud puddles.
Like i went outside when it was raining and got all dirty and nasty, after my mom told me not to, and now i need a bath.
Sometimes, i feel like i need a bath.
Not a tangible bath to wash off mud; an intangible bath to clean off intangible mud.
Stupid stuff that i do throughout the day.
Idiot things like not doing my homework and having to stay up until 4 to get it done... i should be able to do my homework every night and get 8 hours of sleep.

I end up at the end of the day with this feeling of having like mud caked on to me that i need to get rid of.
I feel like i need to wash all of that off, and be clean and fresh and bubbly.
And not smelly.
Or grubby.
kthx.